Electrolicious

Our condo faces onto a courtyard, and when the windows are open there’s definitely a little Melrose Place action that happens. We hear neighbors coming and going, having sex, spanking each other, etc. It’s always entertaining.

We can also hear the callbox at the front gate. Monday night, this is what Dre and I heard, as we sat on the couch staring each other silently with wide eyes that said, “Don’t start laughing! They’ll hear you!”

RING RING
Male resident’s voice over callbox: Hello?
Male guest at gate [coyly]: Are you decent?
Resident: …Uh, who is this?
Guest: Oh no, I totally dialed the wrong unit!
Resident: Uh, ok.

RING RING
Different male resident’s voice over callbox: …There you are!
Guest [uses exact same line!]: Are you decent?
[sound of gate being unlocked]

So, in my Breaking Dawn review, I failed to mention this hilarious moment:

“I was more focused on the absolutely huge white bed in the center of the room, hung with billowy clouds of mosquito netting.”

This is Bella describing the conjugal bed waiting for her and Edward on their honeymoon. Clearly, Stephanie Meyer is tapping into every tween girl’s fantasies about the most perfectest virginity-losing bed evar!!!1! and so we get white bedding, mosquito netting, etc.

And now I present to you our bedroom, as decorated by Andreas:

I’ve always said Dre’s bedroom tastes were sort of that of a 9-year-old girl … but now Stephanie Meyer has proven it!

Welcome Home! from arielmeadow on Vimeo.

Yesterday my dear old friend Susannah came into town for a visit. We started the day off at the Goodwill store on Dearborn, because you see, Susannah is pretty much the queen of thrifting and fabulously kitschy home decor. My tastes tend towards the minimal, modern, brightly colored and clean — “space station for toddlers” is my usual look — but I’ve always had a keen appreciation of Susannah’s style and so when it came time to deal with A Problem Area in our new place, it was Susannah I wanted with me to shop.

The problem area in question? Our foyer. We own the foyer, stairs, and landing that lead up to our condo and the foyer is just big enough for … something. But not much. But something. It’s an oddly shaped room, with two angled walls. Sadly, it had become the “shit catcher” spot for our house, which created something I hate: the entrance to our home was essentially a closet, and a messy one at that. I like my entrances to feel good — when I come home I want to be like, “YEAH! I LOVE LIVING HERE!” instead of feeling like, “Oh yeah: there’s that pile of crap I’ve been ignoring for three months.”

Susannah and I descended upon the Goodwill with a fervor, and although the furniture selection wasn’t enormous, we managed to find something that would work: the top half of an old hutch, with its cabinet doors made from bullseye amber glass. Susannah took one look at it, saw through the mouse poop inside, and declared, “You could totally drill a hole in the back and stick Christmas tree lights inside. It would look great with the glass.” KAPOW! Excellent idea.

We also found a ridiculous old lamp with a bordello-esque fringed lampshade. The gold coloring would go perfectly with my lenticular Virgin Mary, which had been sitting around waiting for a place to be hung.

Last night, after Susannah had gone back home, I dove into the project. I cleaned stuff out. I drilled. I cleaned up mouse poo. I tried to figure out the mysteries of a poorly-wired house (the outlet in the foyer is controlled by some of the hallway switches — but not all of them. It’s like an electrical story problem). And the end result was a much improved foyer — although I’ve still got work to do. The lights need to be attached to the inside edges of the cabinet, so that the shelves can actually be used. I haven’t figured out where to store some of the crap that was living in the foyer. The light switches are definitely an issue. But hey! The whole project cost me about $40 and an hour’s worth of my time, and now I walk in the front door and think “YEAH! I LOVE LIVING HERE!”

Thanks, Susannah!

A few weeks ago, Gwen came to rework our living room while The Seattle Times watched. Here’s the resulting article, and of course Miss Sassafras plays a role: