Last week when I went to the Christmas Tree Burn with Daniel Talsky, he introduced me to Beth, who happens to be the volunteer coordinator at Consolidated Works, a massive arts center.

ConWorks was hosting this wacky Seattle theater festival called 14/48. Basically, 14 plays are written, cast, directed, rehearsed, and performed in 48 hours. It’s pretty cool. So, I went to volunteer, and lo and behold! A ton of the people who are working with ConWorks are old coworkers from my days at ENTROS. Crazy actors. Good to see all them again.

My assigned volunteer position was “Hall Monitor.” The bathrooms at ConWorks are up in this strange hallway which also holds the dressing rooms, and so it’s usually a little crazy up there, and apparently theater-goers frequently get lost on the way to the restroom and find themselves walking into dressing rooms. So, my job was to stand in the hallway and show people to the bathroom.

Perhaps that doesn’t sound like fun to you. I actually had a great time. “Around this corner, and then the second right. Looking for the bathroom, sir? Around this corner, then the third door on your right.” I got to talk to everyone. One guy stopped and said “Oh my god–is this your job?” Yes, it is, but unlike you, dumbass, I’m seeing this show for free! Third door on your right!

Surely the high point of the night had to be when a hurried looking guy wandered down the hallway. “Looking for the restrooms?” I chirped. He looked at me.

“I’m a director!” he hissed. Oh yeah, sorry man. There’s only, like, SEVEN plays (with SEVEN different directors) showing tonight. Third door on your right!

The plays themselves were of varing qualities. The theme was “Eco-terrorism,” and by far the best play involved the three men bitching simultaneously about car alarms, cigarettes, and cell phones. Brilliant. Also good was the one about the neurotic cubicle worker, terrified of all environmental work hazards. Regardless, considering all the plays were written last night, I’d say everything was pretty fucking good. Third door on the right!

Afterwards, I stayed for the cast party and caught up with my old friends. Got to hear about how Mark Baker was doing WaMu commercials, Jim Jewell is engaged, a former manager was fired for paying his ecstasy dealer with restaurant food, and reminisce with Shawn Belyea about working in Arizona in 1998. In fact, now that I think about it, the paycheck from my three weeks of work in Phoenix helped me buy this very computer that I’m using right now. Good times. Third door on the right!